Attractive & Threatening

“You’re really intimidating…”

Those were the words I heard from him. I’ll call him jim.

I replied, “Um… Thanks? What do you mean?”

Jim continued, “You just… I guess intimidating isn’t the best word. You just know what you want to do in life. You have a lot of passion and vision. You don’t see that in a lot of girls. It’s intense. It’s kind of intimidating… for guys.”

Now, that’s not word for word, but in context, that’s all I remember. Since that conversation, the words echoed in my head. Lies from every direction came at me telling me I was too much, that I wasn’t going to make a very good girlfriend or wife because I scared men.

“Maybe I should calm down and not be so… motivated. Maybe I should be more girly and funny and not be so intense about my calling. Maybe I should even flirt a little more and not be so passionate about… saving the world or serving the lord”

Then I realized, this is exactly what the devil himself wants me to think! It’s what he wants me to believe, because I am actually making a difference in the world and not just trying to find my calling in a husband. Finding a husband is definitely a good thing. But I’m not looking for a man who doesn’t even support what I’m doing. I don’t want to waste my life with someone who doesn’t consider everything I was designed for and made to do. I want someone who will be my best friend and will run together with me. A man being threatened or intimidated by my destiny is only going to kill it.  A man being attracted to my calling alone can be creepy. I pray for a man who will not only be attracted to my destiny, but reinforce it. One who will bear the weight of it with me. I don’t want to disregard his destiny at all, but I want ours to be intertwined...

I was speaking to a close friend the other day, and the words proceeded from my mouth were, “I feel like I am more of a threat to (single) men than I am actually attractive to them.”

The more I think about this, the more I realize the only being I should be threatening to is  the devil himself. If a guy is threatened by me, a woman of God who is on his side, I’ll never be able to fight giants with him.

(I won’t stereotype, but…) Most guys don’t know what they want to do in life…they’re scared and afraid of failure. They pursue a girl and find out that she knows what she wants to do, then they get scared and shove her away because they don’t know what to do with their lives. In turn, it affects us because we actually have a grasp on our destiny.

I’m done with feeling worthless because there are guys out there who don’t have a clue! Just because I do know what I want to do, it doesn’t make me bad. It makes me more attractive and more priceless to the man who knows where he’s going. It gives me substance and character. It makes me worth fighting for. It makes me worth waiting for.

So, I’ve decided… I not going to stop to serve God, just because I want to fall in love. I will continue on in my destiny until my best friend joins me.